A letter to my son on his First Day of School

Booger,

Today, dropping you off for your first day of Second Grade, I teared up. I should be used to it by now as you've already soared through two years of pre-school, Kindergarten and First Grade --but I'm not. In fact, I think it's gotten harder. You stood in line behind that bright orange cone looking confident and ready. Your button up shirt and cargo shorts made you look so grown up, you truly are a handsome young man. 

I think that's why its becoming harder to let you go. I know the potential you have. You are bound to greatness. You are smart, caring and curious. Soon, and I'm fearful too soon, you won't be my little boy anymore. You won't want me to take your picture or walk you to the line on your first day. You'll have girls flirting with you and you'll be looking at colleges --ready to leave us, ready, just as you were today. 

I pray that you love every second of your first day. I will continue praying that you have a wonderful year and that every day you stay safe and happy. I will keep praying because that's all I can do. I can't freeze time (as much as I wish I could). You are already the most incredible little boy I've ever met and I know that as the years pass you will just continue growing into an incredible young man. 

I love you so much Booger (and yes, I'm going to call you that as long as I can).

-C

Back to School Pictures

We took our "Back to School" pictures a week before school started for a couple of reasons --1. The first day of school is rushed, stressful and I want to be able to really be there for the little guy on his first day instead of hiding behind my lens trying to get the perfect shot. Will I still take a couple of shots? Of course! But this way it's way less pressure which leads into my reason 2. They get to be way cuter! 

Now, there is nothing that compares to the amazing work a professional photographer can do, but for little moments like this I prefer to control everything myself and not spend the money. Here are the prep steps I took and a little photography 101 so that you can get some of your own cute shots for the scrapbook!

First, I browsed Pinterest for some cute ideas! I loved the more antique/vintage school set so I gathered some stuff around the house and found an antique school desk on Craigslist for super cheap! I also made a list of cute poses I really wanted to steal for our home shoot! 

Pinterest really is amazing! Then, it was just the matter of setting up the logistics ... Where, when, what to wear.

There where is probably the most important of the logistics as is relates to our photography 101. You need to scout out a good location with no clutter. The "set" is the first clear distinction in an amateur vs a pro photo. Prepare your "set" and then have a test shoot so you can really tell what it's going to be like --any certain angles that your going to need to hit to avoid background distractions??

The next important thing is to understand your camera! Here is a really cute infochart I found on Pinterest curtesy of ScissorTailSister!

Any other paparazzi moms going to take some Back to School photos! I want to see them!

-C

Stepmother Struggle

It's no secret that I have been off the grid the last couple of weeks. Partly because of my busy schedule, but mostly because of of my reoccurring identity struggle. I've seen it all too many times where people these days rush to social media to produce "word vomit"-- air their dirty laundry, call out the wrong-doers in their lives, and ask for a pity-party. I am not that person. I am proud to be a stepmother, I am proud of the kind of parent I am, and I am proud to call my husband and stepson my family. Becoming a stepmother has treated me well, but almost to the point where it's been too good.

I was truly blessed to be able to blend into my family while my stepson was very young. He really does not remember a time where Caity wasn't with Daddy, and can only recall stories that he's been told about anytime before. I was there for every stage in his young life with the exception of infancy. I changed diapers, was honored to be apart of some of his "firsts", and made many memories along the way. We bonded instantly, and still have an unreal connection. I love him as if he were my own.

That is why being a step-mother is so hard.

You pour your heart, soul, sweat and tears into a child and your entire being is consumed with an undeniable love. You participate in sports, school, and home activities and often go above and beyond because (maybe) you just don't know any other way. But then, and at least in my case, you have to step back and realize that after all that -- they aren't your biological child. They still have a mother, and it's not you. The child that you love so much has biological parents who make the decisions. 

You can't always protect the little hands you cherish. You don't get to chose the best school possible for them. You don't get to chose how the other mother loves them. Often times, where you live, your finances, your vacations, your schedule --- pretty much your whole life is dependent on another woman who you may or may not get along with. 

You think you understand your role, but often times a situation comes along that can really mess with your head. Emotions  like that can take a toll on you, as it has for me. You keep your head up, re-group, and remember that you can only control what happens at your home and you make damn sure that you make that the best that you can. ...but I know that's hard, so I'll leave you with the serenity prayer:

"God, give me the courage to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

hint:: the wisdom is the most difficult part.

-C

Shoe Tying

I don't know about you, but my little guy is a very "out-of-the-box" thinker. Although he is very smart, he is not the kind of kid who learns in a traditional manner. We seriously have been working on tying his shoes for a good two years. We bought the little fake shoe at the store, we've practiced and practiced and practiced, we've tried teaching him about knots...and, nothing! None of the normal ways taught him how to tie his shoes. So all last year we had a first grader who couldn't tie his own shoes. By the first grade teachers stop helping kids tie their shoes so he had the option to ask friends for their help, or simply stuff his shoelaces inside his shoes. It was embarrassing for him. He felt discouraged and frustrated that he couldn't get this down, but it just seemed too abstract for him.

We decided that second grade wasn't going to be like that. We were determined to get him tying his shoes before the start of the school year so we dedicated tons of time for summer tying practice. What I didn't realize was that we needed to just get back to the basics. We know that J is an out of the box thinker so why were we trying to go the traditional route with this?!

A little research later and we came up with a game plan! We made sure he understood how to make basic "cross" knots on his shoe. We taught him a little song to remember the steps, and then let him watch us tie his shoes a couple of times. After that, we helped him through it one time on one shoe and he felt SO confident that he tried all by himself on the other shoe.... AND DID IT! YAY! After years of struggle, this took about 5 minutes to master! We will still continue trying the traditional way, but this works for now!

Here's how it goes; Cross, Cross, make a hole, put them (shoelaces) through, and Pull!

I'm not raising Van Gough

It's true, I'm not too sure I see a future famous artist in my little booger. At 7yo though, who knows what's in store for him! So, as a parent, how do you decide what to hang up and what not to? The paranoid voice in my head is constantly scrutinizing my decisions when it comes to how much to encourage J. If I encourage him too much is he going to grow up to be dependent on someone's affirmations or become entitled? We've all seen those kids on TV! You know, the kids/adults who can't sing worth a damn but their parents bought their way to the top, or the ones throwing a fit on MTV's "My Sweet Sixteen". I am terrified of parenting my booger in a way that would screw him up like that! On the other hand, will too little encouragement turn him into a crazed serial killer because he didn't feel loved?!

Parenting is hard. No one wants to royally mess up their kid. 

As a team, my hubby and I decided that we would have to take each picture as a case by case basis. Sometimes artwork can be hung in our craft room, in J's playroom, on the fridge or on a little cork board we have. We really like to encourage him when he does something above and beyond, so sometimess his artwork gets framed and hung. We have a pretty nice house and don't feel that we need macaroni art on every wall so here as the things we consider with each "piece".

1. Time. How much time did the little guy put into it?? This is probably our número uno consideration. If J spent weeks crafting each aspect of a piece of art work, it means a lot more then something he scribbled in 5 minutes before lunch. The quality is clearly better, and besides the point, we don't want to teach him that half-ass work gets the same credit as a job well done.

2. Subject. What is the picture of? Sometimes, boys don't always draw things that are exactly "wall hanging material". It's awesome of he spent a whole week on a cool drawing, but we aren't really going to frame and hang up a picture of army guys blowing up bloody bad guys in our living room. If it's that special, save it in a box, but the subject really does make a huge difference. 

3. Medium. What form of art is it -- crayon, paint, pencil, sculpture...??? Maybe when he's older, he may come home with a really neat charcoal drawing that I can frame, but for now at this age, pencil drawings get the boot. As always, if it's still something he worked hard on, we'll hang it on the fridge or cork board for awhile and save it in a box. Crayon and paint really depend on the time he spent, a quick crayon drawing or a quick painting can be sloppy and not really cause to go out and buy a frame. I know it relates back to the time he spent on it, but sometimes bad paints/crayons on bad paper just don't work out. 

4.House. Do we have room or a perfect place to hang up children's art work? If it's really that special, we can usually find a place, but we also don't want to rule out that one day there will be a good piece that just doesn't fit in our home. It also makes it hard when they start making clay sculptures -- sometimes it just has to become a piece that's not on display for guests and maybe goes in a bedroom or storage to save for later. 

These categories really make us think hard about our decision to hang our little boogers work around our home, and we think makes it even more special when he does earn it! I'm not sure I'm raising the next Van Gough, but we are going to try to encourage his hard work while being semi-realistic. Hopefully this way he values quality and knows that quality takes hard work and skill. It's a tough world out there, but I think we're putting him on the right track!

Do you think extreme parenting styles can alter a kids behavior (either too encouraging or too realistic)??? How do you balance between the two styles?

-C

Learning opportunities and parenting fails.

J's Father and I try and use every holiday or special occasion into a learning experience. Obviously, Independance Day yesterday served as one of those perfect opportunities! Over the summer, J has to work on a couple of school worksheets everyday to keep his skills up, so of course yesterday, he started his day off by completing some American themed worksheets! His favorite one was where he got to color in a flag, wrote down different facts about the flag and do a short writing response. It gave us the opportunity to talk to him about the Revolutionary War and how we as a people came to be. We love incorporating history lessons or science into real life for him!

Today though, we ran a few errands and ended up working on a landscaping project and planting some trees. Of course we ran into unexpected problems, and J kept getting in the way. We were beginning to get frustrated because he just didn't seem to understand what was going on and kept stepping right where he shouldn't have! Neither of us have a temper, but we both became a little snappy when J continuously stepped in front of the skid steer and put himself in dangerous spots. This isn't something he does, and he definitely knows better! Then it hit me... Yesterday, we were patient and used every second as a teaching opportunity , but today, we didn't give his curiosity a second thought. We had become those parents who became so consumed in our own project that we weren't encouraging his curiosity! 

We slowed down, which was very hard! We took the time to explain every little detail to J, let him touch the pieces we were working with, and answered all his questions. It was "convenient", but afterwords J felt engaged in the project too! It wasn't the adults project, it became the families' project! He began wanting to help, making sure he was in the right place at the right time, and actually being beneficial. 

What started out at a parenting error, ended up being a parenting victory. All it took was taking the time out to teach the little booger what he wanted to learn and he was on board wanting to help! I guess what we learned from today was that it's hard to remember that everyday is a learning experience for a kid, but as parents it's important to cherish those questions and cherish those moments everyday (not just important days) and guide them through this mysterious life!

Love on your kiddos and answer their questions! Parents are a kids best teacher!

-C

#SummerAdventure

Today, the boy and I tried SUP {{stand up paddleboarding}} and what. a. BLAST!! For the love of green beans, seriously! This was something that's been on our checklist for awhile so today we finally gave it a go and now we are hooked! The board is about 9 feet tall and 3 feet wide, so you stand on it (obviously), bend your knees a little and use an oar to paddle along. It's a pretty good workout if you want it to be! I was super nervous about letting J have his own board, but he begged and begged and I figured after yesterday's independence he was probably craving more so I gave in. J is 7 years old, 49 inches and 62 lbs of pure muscle... Yeah, I know, he's a brick, but honestly I wouldn't recommend letting your kiddo unless they are bigger then he is because he was still a little "struggle bus". We are most definitely going to try it a few more times (at least) and hopefully visit a few more lakes!! 

We have a ba-zillion other things on our Summer Adventure checklist though! Here are a few of our checklist to-dos we have to gotten to yet:

-Hikes; Devils Head, Garden of the Gods, and a few local trails

-Fishing (what summer is complete without fishing... really.)

-Visit the Wild Animal Sanctuary 

-Visit Casa Bonita (every Colorado kid has to go at least once)

-Visit as many Penny press machine locations as possible

-Denver Art Museum

-Cheyenne Frontier Days

-Attend several hometown events: Movie night, Splash at the Park, concerts, ect..

What's on your to-do list??

~C