A letter to my son on his First Day of School

Booger,

Today, dropping you off for your first day of Second Grade, I teared up. I should be used to it by now as you've already soared through two years of pre-school, Kindergarten and First Grade --but I'm not. In fact, I think it's gotten harder. You stood in line behind that bright orange cone looking confident and ready. Your button up shirt and cargo shorts made you look so grown up, you truly are a handsome young man. 

I think that's why its becoming harder to let you go. I know the potential you have. You are bound to greatness. You are smart, caring and curious. Soon, and I'm fearful too soon, you won't be my little boy anymore. You won't want me to take your picture or walk you to the line on your first day. You'll have girls flirting with you and you'll be looking at colleges --ready to leave us, ready, just as you were today. 

I pray that you love every second of your first day. I will continue praying that you have a wonderful year and that every day you stay safe and happy. I will keep praying because that's all I can do. I can't freeze time (as much as I wish I could). You are already the most incredible little boy I've ever met and I know that as the years pass you will just continue growing into an incredible young man. 

I love you so much Booger (and yes, I'm going to call you that as long as I can).

-C

Back to School Pictures

We took our "Back to School" pictures a week before school started for a couple of reasons --1. The first day of school is rushed, stressful and I want to be able to really be there for the little guy on his first day instead of hiding behind my lens trying to get the perfect shot. Will I still take a couple of shots? Of course! But this way it's way less pressure which leads into my reason 2. They get to be way cuter! 

Now, there is nothing that compares to the amazing work a professional photographer can do, but for little moments like this I prefer to control everything myself and not spend the money. Here are the prep steps I took and a little photography 101 so that you can get some of your own cute shots for the scrapbook!

First, I browsed Pinterest for some cute ideas! I loved the more antique/vintage school set so I gathered some stuff around the house and found an antique school desk on Craigslist for super cheap! I also made a list of cute poses I really wanted to steal for our home shoot! 

Pinterest really is amazing! Then, it was just the matter of setting up the logistics ... Where, when, what to wear.

There where is probably the most important of the logistics as is relates to our photography 101. You need to scout out a good location with no clutter. The "set" is the first clear distinction in an amateur vs a pro photo. Prepare your "set" and then have a test shoot so you can really tell what it's going to be like --any certain angles that your going to need to hit to avoid background distractions??

The next important thing is to understand your camera! Here is a really cute infochart I found on Pinterest curtesy of ScissorTailSister!

Any other paparazzi moms going to take some Back to School photos! I want to see them!

-C

Stepmother Struggle

It's no secret that I have been off the grid the last couple of weeks. Partly because of my busy schedule, but mostly because of of my reoccurring identity struggle. I've seen it all too many times where people these days rush to social media to produce "word vomit"-- air their dirty laundry, call out the wrong-doers in their lives, and ask for a pity-party. I am not that person. I am proud to be a stepmother, I am proud of the kind of parent I am, and I am proud to call my husband and stepson my family. Becoming a stepmother has treated me well, but almost to the point where it's been too good.

I was truly blessed to be able to blend into my family while my stepson was very young. He really does not remember a time where Caity wasn't with Daddy, and can only recall stories that he's been told about anytime before. I was there for every stage in his young life with the exception of infancy. I changed diapers, was honored to be apart of some of his "firsts", and made many memories along the way. We bonded instantly, and still have an unreal connection. I love him as if he were my own.

That is why being a step-mother is so hard.

You pour your heart, soul, sweat and tears into a child and your entire being is consumed with an undeniable love. You participate in sports, school, and home activities and often go above and beyond because (maybe) you just don't know any other way. But then, and at least in my case, you have to step back and realize that after all that -- they aren't your biological child. They still have a mother, and it's not you. The child that you love so much has biological parents who make the decisions. 

You can't always protect the little hands you cherish. You don't get to chose the best school possible for them. You don't get to chose how the other mother loves them. Often times, where you live, your finances, your vacations, your schedule --- pretty much your whole life is dependent on another woman who you may or may not get along with. 

You think you understand your role, but often times a situation comes along that can really mess with your head. Emotions  like that can take a toll on you, as it has for me. You keep your head up, re-group, and remember that you can only control what happens at your home and you make damn sure that you make that the best that you can. ...but I know that's hard, so I'll leave you with the serenity prayer:

"God, give me the courage to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

hint:: the wisdom is the most difficult part.

-C